Its been a while...i know. School is still going strong but i cant say the same for my seemingly perfect relationship. I can write about it now because not only do i know the ending...i created it myself.
I was afraid that if i wrote about it and released it into the universe i could not take it back.I spent a long time kicking myself in the ass and blaming myself for the demise, but how much was really my fault and how much was forgivable? I will say that the past 5 months have not been the highlight of my life but to an extent i am thankful.
Perhaps it took a complete trainwreck to make me realize that i never wanted to be derailed like that. Women are constantly looking for answers, to questions they make up in their own heads.
The truth was sometimes if you stopped looking the answers would find you.
Endings are not always happy , but we need to realize when we've reached the end. The toughest battles that we fight are always againest ourselves. We were our worst critics and our own worst enemy's . Its now been 6 month since the man who promised me the world left me. A man who promised to pick me up if i fell and when i did , did exactly the opposite.
Because of this i have an entirely new outlook on what i want and refuse to settle for anything less.
Men always had a tendancy to play leading roles in my life and i made them out to be the villans, but really I WAS the villan, and as such it was time for me to step up and turn into my own hero.
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